Mothertongue: A Meditation on Memory, Truth and Love

A memoir about growing up in Scotland in the sixties and seventies with undiagnosed autism

Is it ever too late to discover your authentic self? Alex Morgan always felt different, she just didn't know why. As a child living above the family's Edinburgh dress shop, she learned from her mother that the world was filled with monsters - her father chief among them - and dreadful things could happen at any time. To stay safe, she spent almost sixty years trying to blend in, hiding her fear, pretending to understand and be like other people.

Then, exhausted and stuck in bed with Covid, she took an online neurodivergence test and came face-to-face with the real cause of her difference: she was autistic.

How had she and everyone around her failed to realise? Which parent did the crucial genes come from, and how could this new understanding help her build a better life? With unflinching honesty, Alex chronicles her journey to unravel how autism shaped her family's story and her own.

Along the way, she details the condition's history, causes and the diagnostic process, where decades of misogyny, combined with females' conditioning to conform, have left so many women undiagnosed. Studies suggest there may be 700,000 in the UK alone, many mislabelled with anxiety, depression, OCD or bipolar disorder and mis-medicated accordingly. Women struggling to play the part expected of them by society, with no idea of the actual issue.

By revealing what it feels like to be an autistic child, teen and adult - and recounting how she cast off her neurotypical mask - Alex demystifies a condition whose impact on women has been tragically underestimated.